4.15.2009

Late and Muddy

I had to get ready for an interview, so I was running home. I ran across this muddy field in my boots, and the mud splashed up all over me. When I got home, I realized the people who were going to be interviewing me weren't going to be coming to my house, I had to go to them, and it was supposed to start in 20 minutes. I couldn't skip showering, because I had gotten all muddy. I ran upstairs. One of my best friends was there. She told me she wanted to take a shower. I realized that would work out fine, because there was a shower where the bedroom closet was supposed to be, as well as a shower in the attached bathroom. I tried to shut and lock the door. It didn't stay. I inspected it closer, and realized there was no hole drilled into the door jamb for it to latch into. Luckily there was a hook latch at the top of the door. I realized there was still no way I would make it to the interview on time, since I had to go back across that muddy field and up a big hill.

Easter Pizza

I had to use the toilet, and someone was in our bathroom, but miraculously, there was another toilet in the bedroom. How convenient. I didn't shut the door all the way, and while I was sitting there, some guy I didn't know walked into the room. I said "Hey! Get out of here!" He turned around for a second, then came back in. He had no respect for my privacy. Another guy followed him in too. They walked into our amazingly large closet to look for some clothes. I tried to cover myself a little and hold up my pants as I stumbled across the floor and shut them in the closet.

I buttoned up and went out into the rest of the house to find my husband, but instead, there were a ton of people I had never met before. They seemed to be having a pizza party, even though it was early Easter morning. I found my husband and complained to him. We were going to be having guests arrive shortly for Easter- what were all these people doing here, and get them out of here! My husband says, "Relax, we're having fun! Have some pizza!"

I turn, and there is a pizza man standing in front of a waist-high stack of pizza boxes, doleing out slices of pizza. He says, "What kind would you like?" I storm off into the next room, pissed off.

4.01.2009

A Dangerous sort of Nurse

After my husband had surgery, we were leaving the hospital. We had to drive down a lot of icy roads, and my brakes didn't work, and we slid down a hill, back down to the hospital and crashed. I went to find someone to help us, because everyone was really busy and ignoring us. I finally found a nurse and demanded that she come help us. It was Kim Kardashian. She was kinda cranky to come down and deal with us, until she saw my husband and started flirting with him. He flirted back a little bit, then told her that he had to go have sex now. She said "Oh!" real excitedly. He said, "Oh, sorry, not with you." She said, "Oh." sadly. I piped up, "Yeah, he's married." She came over to me, put her arm around me, gave me her best puppy eyes, and said, "well, that's okay, I don't mind," indicating that I could be involved. I told her I didn't roll that way. We also told her she had to drive us home, since our car was all busted up.